This Is Where Our Hearts Collide
by Lothian
Summary: She turned up in a pool of blood: "K-Kuro… Saki-kun… Oh… The-They… raped me…" And Ichigo's world shattered, while his separate personalities were born. Ichigo x Orihime. Alternate Universe.
1. To bend, break, and shatter

**AN: Before I insult anyone with the content that is depicted in this story, I would now like to say I have personal experience with this kind of situation. Thank you. Once again I do not own anything in here, except the idea. I only hope you enjoy.**

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Ichigo had multiple personalities. Schizophrenic was the scientific term used when he was at his therapist's, or a psychologist. When had he been born? Ichigo wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that it had all started two months ago.

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**FLASHBACK**

Ichigo stared up at the ceiling. He traced imaginary patterns with his eyes, and when he felt dizzy with doing so, he closed his eyes, and breathed slowly in and out. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. When you simplified things, they suddenly seemed one hell of a lot easier to do properly, without the extra stress. Ichigo opened his eyes and then opened his window a little, breathing in the ice air. It was freezing, bone-deep cold, the kind that wrapped around your spine and turned your breath into tiny crystals, the kind that matted your eyelashes together with ice. Ichigo closed the window abruptly. He could hear the doorbell ringing insistently, and frowned in irritation. He slowly got up, and made his way down towards the door, yelling as he went, "Don't bother answering the door, dad, Yuzu or Karin! I'm only meant to be studying and taking my exams in two weeks!"

"Sarcasm won't get you anywhere son!" was the reply.

Ichigo grunted in response and opened the door. Ichigo didn't know that what he saw would change his life forever. And the ironic thing? He let it over the threshold of his door, and into his home.

Orihime Inoue sat – apparently having collapsed with sheer exhaustion – on his doorstep. Her clothes were torn, and her hair was knotted. He could remember noticing she was barefoot, and later wondered how in that moment he could file away a fact so perfectly normal. Blood was pooling around Orihime, and Ichigo could see the oily red liquid running down her legs. When he looked at her, her gray eyes reminded him of the sky you saw from airplanes – everywhere and nowhere at all, all at once.

"K-Kuro… Saki-kun… Oh… The-They… raped me…" And with that, Orihime Inoue passed out.

**…**

Orihime had wanted to shower. Ichigo and Isshin hadn't let her. 'Evidence' the word had flashed into Ichigo's mind, like a hamster in a wheel, it ran round in circles, chasing every wrung of possibility, and still, somehow, getting nowhere at all. They had gone to Isshin's clinic, and Orihime had been introduced to an overly friendly, and too understanding girl who had smiled encouragingly at Orihime with every second word she had said. Orihime had nodded weakly at every sentence, and had then allowed herself to be steered into the examination room. A blood sample had been taken, and Ichigo could remember, as though recalling something from a dream, how Orihime had gone quite pale at the sight of blood when they were testing for something or other in pig's blood. She had been sick afterwards. Now he watched from behind a sheet of glass as Orihime allowed a needle to extract blood from her, and Ichigo had understood, that Orihime didn't think of her body as her own anymore, she was physically there, but mentally she was drifting among the stars, where they couldn't hurt her anymore.

**…**

When Midoriko – the name of Orihime's nurse returned, she had said, "The doctor's going to use a special light now, a Woods lamp. It won't hurt, I promise." It could have been a thousand needles Orihime thought dimly – she knew she still wouldn't feel it. The light glowed ultraviolet, and when Orihime had glanced down in detached curiosity at her own body, it had been covered in angry purple lines and blotches that hadn't been visible to the naked eye before. The doctor then took swabs from each mark, and Orihime had time to glance at the packaging 'suspected saliva from neck' or 'suspected semen from inner left thigh'. The doctor then gently combed Orihime's long red hair, folding up the comb inside a towel when she had finished.

When Midoriko pulled a pair of stirrups from the end of the examination table, Orihime began to panic, and struggled to get up and run. Midoriko pushed her gently, but firmly back onto the table. "Have you ever been to the gynecologist, Orihime-chan?"

Orihime shakily shook her head, lip quivering.

"You're going to feel a little pressure," Midoriko said kindly, folding Orihime's legs into the stirrups, a human origami that left her stark and open. In that instant, Orihime could feel the little part that was left of her sinking down from the starry heavens to take dark root in her beaten body. For the very first time since Orihime had entered the hospital with Ichigo's arms around her, Orihime was violently aware of who she was and of what had been done to her. She wanted to scream.

There was cold steel, and a rasp of flesh. A push from the outside, as her body struggled to keep the speculum out. Orihime tried again to sit up, and at the same time tried to kick out, but she couldn't, as several nurses Orihime did not know kept her held down firmly by her thighs, and then there was a pain and force and 'you are ripping me in half.' The thought crossed her mind very suddenly, and left her feeling nauseous. Now that Orihime could feel exactly what was happening to her, she wished with all her might she couldn't. She started shaking uncontrollably; an atom about to split beneth its own compounded weight.

And then suddenly the door burst open and Tatsuki – Orihime's best friend burst in. She was wild eyed, and looked like she had just gotten here; snow was still melting in her raven hair.

"I must ask you to step out of the room, madam," came Midoriko's voice.

Tatsuki ignored her, and instead she elbowed her way toward Orihime's side and clutched her hand as though to keep her from slipping beneath some emotional ocean.

"I must ask you to leave now." Tatsuki took the hint this time.

"We will get through this." Tatsuki lied for her friend, because in the wake of disaster, the last thing you wanted to do was set off another bomb. Instead what you did, was walk amidst the pile of rubble, and you tried to convince yourself it was not nearly as bad as it looked.

**…**

Tatsuki clutched the styrofoam cup between her fingers, scalding herself in the process, but seemingly not noticing.

"We should have been there Ichigo." Ichigo closed his eyes at her words, and she filled the silence by taking a small sip of her too bitter coffee.

"I know." He bit out eventually.

"If we hadn't… If we… If we hadn't gone home immediately, instead of waiting for her to finish her extra mathematics class… We… She…" The tears she was trying, and failing to suppress had choked Tatsuki's voice.

"This…" And here Tatsuki indicated the waiting room, and the door leading to where Orihime was now being prodded and poked, "is our fault."

Ichigo sighed, and leant against the wall, as though looking for something to keep his world from crashing down around his ears.

"I know."

"Ichigo." A familiar voice sounded through the hallway.

Ichigo looked up, and nodded in the direction of Rukia, Renji, Chad and Ishida.

"I told them." Tatsuki offered up for explanation.

"How…" Rukia coughed. Her eyes were too bright to be naturally like that. Ichigo could see the tears clinging to her eyelashes.

"How is she coping?" She managed, but her voice cracked like a fault line half way through the small sentence.

"Not too well." Ichigo said in an effort to keep his voice steady.

"W-Why?" Ichigo looked up, somewhat taken aback that it was Renji who was asking.

"I-I mean," he said hastily, "this isn't meant to happen to people like us. This is the kind of stuff you read about in novels, or newspapers, or hear about on the news, or over the radio. This _shouldn't_ happen to _us_."

**…**

They were all sitting or leaning against the wall, the chairs lay abandoned; it felt too normal to sit down properly. The door swung open and they all looked up immediately. Midoriko stood there, and she looked down at a clipboard, her long dark hair swinging to hide her face.

She looked up and said, "Inoue-san will need new clothes."

"I'll do it." Ichigo knew that he should probably have let Tatsuki or Rukia go, but he needed to have something to do. Anything. He nodded towards his friends, and left the clinic, glad to be out, and to not have to breathe in the stale disinfectant smell, mingling with that of the rubber gloves the doctors and nurses used.

The cold hair winded him momentarily, but he quickly made the short way towards Orihime's house. He realized, in surprise that he had never been to her house. It made him wonder why, momentarily he had never taken his time to go and watch her favorite television program 'Laugh Hour' with her, like a friend would do. He cursed himself then.

Ichigo knew Orihime kept a spare key under a stone shaped like a heart, and he immediately found it, and let himself in. Her apartment was small, and he hastily made his way to Orihime's drawers and wardrobe. He opened the wardrobe and a faint smell of vanilla mixed with apples greeted him. Orihime's scent. He breathed it in, marveling at the familiar. He gazed critically at her clothes. There were summer dresses Ichigo had never taken the time to notice when she wore them, but he grabbed a pair of jeans, as well as Orihime's pajamas, which were covered in animals that looked suspiciously like his sister's teddy, Kon. He then grabbed a jumper and a t-shirt.

Ichigo was worried however about the underwear. He closed his eyes when he opened the underwear drawer, and rummaged grabbing a pair of socks, what he hoped were knickers, and a bra, which he probably couldn't mistake anyway.

Reluctantly Ichigo made his way out of the apartment, but a photo caught his eye. There was one of her brother next to it, but the one that had caught his eyes, was one of them all together, laughing and smiling. Orihime wasn't in it. And then Ichigo remembered. They had gone to the seaside, and Orihime had had them all line up together and had made them laugh. Then she had taken a picture. Ichigo, hadn't even noticed.

**…**

When Ichigo finally arrived at the hospital, he looked at Tatsuki who was now slumped across Chad's lap, sleeping. Chad, Ichigo noticed, was blushing.

Rukia and Renji were both huddled up in a corner, holding hands. Ichigo shook his head inwardly. They were all growing up. Nothing would be like it had been before, because they were all pairing up. Only Ishida and Ichigo remained waiting stubbornly for any news on Orihime.

**…**

Orihime wanted to have a shower. So badly. To wash away what had happened, to scrub the feeling of their hands away. She regretted that she couldn't wipe away the bruises that had bloomed on her wrists, as if she were a canvas, and they had been determined to leave their mark.

A soft knock on the door made her look up, instantly afraid that it might be them. When Ichigo entered, she scolded herself mentally, and told herself to stop being so paranoid.

"I…" Ichigo cleared his throat, as though something had been clogging up his voice box. "I brought you clothes." He handed her over her pajamas, despite the fact that by now, it was practically morning. He left her jeans and t-shirt on the end of the bed, and handed over her underwear, carefully averting her eyes.

"Thank you, Kurosaki-kun." Her voice was just a whisper, ghost-like.

"It was no problem." Ichigo looked down at Orihime, tracing the lines of her face, and the way her hair fell. Who could be capable of doing such a thing to her? Why?

"Kurosaki-kun, have you heard anything from the doctors?" She asked this in a detached manner, as though not aware of her voice functioning to form words.

"No, not yet, they're still running tests." Ichigo answered, hating the fact that this wasn't helping her in any way.

"I see."

Ichigo looked at her again, the way her posture seemed to have collapsed, her shoulders hunched forwards hiding her from the rest of the world, the way her long red hair hung like a waterfall in front of her face.

"Inoue." He said abruptly, surprising himself.

She looked up at him, and her eyes threatened to swallow him whole.

"We will get the people who have done this. Honestly we will. The police said they'd be over in the morning, once you've gotten some rest. I promise you, we'll get them, even if I have to do it myself." When he got no response, he sighed and made his way towards the door.

"Thank you, Kurosaki-kun." And Ichigo knew she wasn't talking about the clothes he had brought her.

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**FEEDBACK is ALWAYS appreciated. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Thanks for taking your time to read this. :)**


	2. The Butterfly Effect

**AN: I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

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**Aftermath**

Orihime had not slept. She had wanted to. But she couldn't. Every time she had closed her eyes, she could see them, as though they were imprinted on her eyelids, and she would start to cry again. Midoriko would come rushing in with Kleenex, and would soothe her, until Orihime's sobs subsided.

A soft knock on the door resounded throughout the silent room. Renji, closely followed by Rukia entered, carrying lilies and Orihime's childhood teddy bear. Then Orihime did a double take. A woman walked in, her long plaits flowed down her back like a small stream. She was, in Orihime's opinion, very pretty, with her blue eyes and her fair skin. She looked very cat-like.

"Orihime…" Rukia spoke, her voice cracking, "this is Detective Soi-Fon. She's here to find out what happened. Ichigo said she'd be coming around, didn't she?"

Orihime nodded. She hadn't expected that time to come so soon.

"Hello Inoue-san." Soi-Fon looked at Renji and Rukia and nodded at the door, for which Orihime was grateful. This was mortifying enough without involving them. Renji and Rukia left their tokens on her bed side, and quickly exited, leaving Soi-Fon gazing critically at Orihime.

"Do you have any relatives who could be with you, Orihime?" Orihime looked into the glacier-like blue eyes, and shook her head.

"Nobody at all?"

"No, my brother died, when I was ten. I've…" Orihime swallowed the wad of emotion, which had gathered in her throat, "I've been living alone ever since. My neighbors took care of me, if I needed someone."

Soi-Fon nodded.

"I think, Orihime it may be better for you to stay with someone, a friend maybe. Someone who you can talk to. But we'll come to that later. Right now, I'm afraid I have to ask you about last night. Where were you when this happened?"

Orihime looked down at the sheets of the hospital bed. They seemed to blur before her eyes. She blinked and two heavy drops fell like rain on to the quilt.

"I… I had a mathematics class after school… I'm not… very good at mathematics." She offered Soi-Fon a wavering smile.

"I know how you feel."

Orihime looked back down at her quilt. "My friends… They were going to wait for me… But then they decided to go home after all… I don't… Blame them. So I… I walked home alone."

"And then what happened?" Orihime only noticed now that she had been recording this conversation. She suddenly felt self-conscious.

"I… I was taking a shortcut, through a disused train tunnel. I thought… I thought I was alone."

Soi-Fon nodded in what Orihime supposed she thought, was understanding. It only made it worse.

"There was laughter… And I remember thinking that it was scary how I hadn't noticed. Then there were a few men. They circled around me… Like sharks…" Orihime shivered, but it had nothing to do with the temperature, "I told them I needed to get past. And then… They started to pull my hair, and… Then one of them began to tug at my clothes." Orihime swallowed. "Then someone… Hit me over the back of the head…" Orihime indicated a bruise, which had blossomed at the base of her skull.

"I see." But, Orihime thought, Soi-Fon didn't. It hadn't happened to her, she hadn't been the one who had been ripped to pieces.

"I woke up, and everything hurt. It was dark, and I can remember seeing the moon. Then I realized there was someone else on top of me… And that's why it was hurting… I… He was breaking me in two…" And then Orihime began to cry, rocking her body and clutching her arms.

"Okay, okay…" Soi-Fon soothed with empty words, "It's over, it's enough for now, I'll ask again at a better time, okay?"

Orihime managed to nod, rubbing her eyes angrily.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door and her friends all filed in again, obviously having heard Orihime crying and sending nasty looks in Soi-Fon's direction.

"I'll give the doctor an appointment, which he'll give to you, okay, Orihime?"

Orihime nodded again, and suddenly she remembered a childhood story about a little man with a nodding head: Noddy. She fought the urge to smile slightly.

"Inoue…" It was a question, which translated into 'how are you doing?'.

She smiled up weakly at her friends, finding the identical looks of concern somewhat comical.

"I'm fine. I really am."

"Inoue…" It was Ichigo who spoke this time, and he looked slightly embarrassed.

"The doctors said they'd let you out today, but they want you to come back for regular check-ups." He looked slightly awkward, fiddling with a button on his jacket. "I was wondering… Well, we were wondering if someone could maybe be with you when the police interview you… It might make it easier. And I-"

"What Kurosaki is trying to say, is that he would like to be with you when they interview you again tomorrow, Inoue." It was Ishida who spoke, taking Ichigo's embarrassment away in one clean sentence.

Orihime's brow furrowed.

"Would you really want to be in there? I mean…" She averted her eyes, and instead concentrated on her fingernails, "It wouldn't be…"

"I know. It's just, I would like to be there."

Orihime's heart fluttered like a hummingbird's wings.

"Okay." And she looked at Ichigo and gave him a smile, which felt too forced.

**…**

The police station, Orihime thought was dreary. How on earth could anybody work here without falling into depression? The posters on the walls warned about drunk-driving, vandalizing, kidnappers, thieves, drugs and rapists. Rape. Orihime suddenly found herself listing four letter words.

_Stop._

_Then._

_Rape._

_Love._

_Hate._

_Past._

"Orihime Inoue." The cold voice rang out across the room, and Ichigo stood up, indicating for Orihime to do the same.

They were led into a room with one tiny window, the size of an A4 piece of paper. The light which came from the snow outside, filtered meagerly through the small opening.

"Please, have a seat." Soi-Fon had entered the room and was now indicating the chairs across from her.

"Interview started on the twenty-fifth of January thirteen-hundred hours." Orihime was again uncomfortably aware of the tape-recording her every word.

"Orihime Inoue, we got to the point yesterday where you described being aware of having someone lying on top of you, would you now please care to continue where you left off?"

Orihime cleared her throat.

"I was suddenly aware of someone lying on top of me…" Her voice seemed to unravel at the edges.

"And what did you do then?"

"I tried to kick them off me, but that just made it all hurt much more. I tried to shove them, but they…" Orihime looked down at her bruised wrists, "They pinned my hands down. I just…"

Ichigo couldn't hear her anymore. Instead he gripped the edge of the table so hard he thought he would crack the plastic. He took a deep breath in through his mouth and held it. He thought of all the ways it would be possible to kill the fucking bastards who had done this.

Orihime's voice came back again. "It was like a game to them. If I tried to struggle, they would push me down again. I tried to scream for help… But nobody heard me, and in the end they got annoyed with me for making so much noise and so they hit me. I was too shocked to…" Orihime's voice cracked down the middle.

There was a bullet, Ichigo thought, but that would be too easy.

"Have you ever had sex before, Inoue?"

Orihime shook her head, tears cascading down her cheeks.

Drowning, Ichigo thought. Slowly. In a sewer, that is.

"For how long did you scream before they hit you?"

Orihime shook. "I don't know. A few minutes I guess. My throat hurt a lot…"

No – a rusty knife. A sharp cut to the gut – not enough to kill him. Ichigo had read about men who'd had to live for days, watching their insides being eaten out by infection.

"Did they use a condom, Inoue?"

Orihime shook her head. "They took it in turns, and they made sure that they… That they…"

"I understand."

Maybe, Ichigo mused, he would do all these things to the pair of them. But do it twice.

"Kurosaki Ichigo? Could I see you outside for a minute?" The cool cut of Soi-Fon's voice sliced through his musings.

"Yeah, sure." Ichigo followed Soi-Fon into the hallway of the police station.

"Look," the detective said, "I see this kind of thing a lot."

This was news to Ichigo. The last rape that had happened in their small town had occurred over a decade ago, and that was a hitchhiker.

"And it's pretty hard for the victim to live alone after something like this has happened to them. I figured seeing as you care enough about her to come here with her, then maybe you'd be willing to look after her for a bit, she's at risk from herself right now."

Ichigo frowned at the latter part of the sentence.

"What do you mean, that she's a risk to herself?"

Soi-Fon glanced at the door, which concealed Orihime.

"Some victims become suicidal, depressed. There are cases where they end up killing themselves. I would like to avoid that at all costs. Do you understand me?" Her sapphire-like eyes seemed to pierce him to his core.

"I do."

**…**

After telling Orihime that she would be moving in with his family, Ichigo decided to help her with her packing.

He watched now as she gathered the pieces of her life together and put them all in a suitcase; photos of her and her brother, cards from friends, drawings, photos of them all together, her favorite teddy bear, her old comfort blanket, her mother's mirror, her father's watch and her favorite pajamas, which had been washed so many times, they were now rose-petal soft.

Orihime stood for a moment in the doorway of her empty apartment, as though she were saying goodbye to an old life, and then she turned, offered Ichigo one of her special smiles, and walked away from her past.

**…**

Ichigo looked down at his little sister, Yuzu in amazement. Never, had she gone to such lengths to make her room look as nice as possible. She had set up a futon in the corner of her bedroom, with enormous king-sized pillows, and had even gone to the lengths of buying a brand-new fluffy blue nightgown for Orihime. She had then proceeded to cook a full three-course meal, complete with the help of a friend. Ichigo doubted very much, that Yuzu really understood what had happened to Orihime, but he did know that the things spoken about on the radio, Yuzu would look up, to understand more of her world.

Karin drew back from Orihime a little. Not because she was shy, but because Ichigo suspected, it was peculiar for her to be adding another member of the family onto their own established group. His dad, Ichigo thought irritated, was just plain embarrassing. Something, he supposed he ought to get used to.

Orihime didn't say much during the meal, but Yuzu and his dad made up for the silence. Ichigo did however notice the way Orihime mixed ketchup and mayonnaise with her rice. And the way that, when dessert came, she dipped her strawberries in soy sauce as opposed to sprinkling them with sugar and cream.

**…**

Orihime stood under the piping hot flow of the shower. She had begun to shower nearly twice a day, as though she hoped to get rid of the past by somehow keeping clean of it. She lifted her face to the spray of the shower – the water was so hot now that it raised red welts, stole breath, steamed mirrors and windows alike. Orihime mentally counted to ten, and then finally ducked away from the steam to stand naked and dripping in front of the mirror. Her face was burned from the heat and her long red hair stuck to her shoulders in thick ropes. Orihime scrutinized her body, looking at the bruises, which had now faded to a light brown colour, and thought suddenly that even though the marks on her exterior faded, the marks that had been burned into her wouldn't.

A soft knock on the door interrupted her musings, and she jumped and hastily reached for a towel, wrapping it very firmly around herself, as though whoever was behind the doorway could see through wood.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright, Inoue?"

"Yes, I'm fine, really." Orihime wondered if she'd ever be able to say that again, and actually mean it.

"Okay, sorry, I was just checking…" A pause.

"Would you like some hot chocolate before you go to bed? I was about to make some."

"I'm fine, Kurosaki-kun." Again that phrase: I'm fine.

"Okay."

Orihime sank to the tiled floor. She thought it somewhat ironic, that it would take something as serious as this, for Ichigo to notice her.

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**AN: Again, any feedback you may have is appreciated, and thank you for reading :)**


	3. The Little Red Plus Symbol

**AN: I hope you enjoy ****, oh and THANK YOU SO MUCH, to all the ANON reviewers. You all make my day. Thanks for taking your time to leave feedback **

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"Why did she get sent to _his_ house?" Tatsuki was furious, and Rukia was backing her up on this one.

"Because, as I have explained, Kurosaki Ichigo has a stable, and very friendly family. You all live in college dormitories. I do not think it would be appropriate, especially seeing as Miss. Kuchiki here has a boyfriend. That would only bring back painful memories, and she may even become jealous, because Orihime was never given the chance to have a real relationship as far as I'm aware, and after this incident, I think it would be wise to distance her from any such sight, don't you?"

For once, Tatsuki and Rukia were left speechless, and so they contented themselves with giving Soi-Fon a glare, and left the police station.

Soi-Fon sighed and rubbed her temples, before checking Orihime's file. How on earth were they going to catch the ones who had done this? Soi-Fon hadn't yet probed Orihime about what these men had looked like, and Soi-Fon wasn't even sure if she wanted to. Most rape victims became hysterical when describing the one who had done this.

Soi-Fon picked up her telephone and dialed the number of the Kurosaki-clinic.

**…**

Isshin was just finishing telling his tale of how he once narrowly escaped being shot out of the sky by a helicopter, much to Orihime's interest, when the telephone rang. He set down his chopsticks, swallowed the rice in his mouth and ran towards it.

"It might by that lovely lady from across the street!" he explained, receiving a flying shoe from Ichigo's direction.

Rubbing his head, Isshin picked up the telephone.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Kurosaki-san. I was wondering, when exactly would be a good time to come over? I need Orihime to describe the men who raped her." Soi-Fon's icy tone made Isshin's mood drop slightly.

"Uhh…" He glanced over at Orihime, who busily showing Yuzu how to make a panda bear out of rice and seaweed.

"Can't it wait until… a later date?"

"No. This is vital. I know it will be distressing for Orihime, but we need to find out what happened as soon as possible. Also, I have something for Orihime, which may interest her."

Isshin jumped to see Ichigo a few feet away from him, glaring at him in suspicion.

"Oh… Alright then. You may come over."

Ichigo continued to glare at him.

"What? Your father had done nothing inappropriate, I was only joking about that nice lady across the ro-!"

Isshin was cut off when another shoe made contact with his stomach.

"G-good as ever, son!" He congratulated, wheezing slightly.

"Was that Soi-Fon on the phone?"

"Yes, why are you asking questions to which you already know the answers?"

Ichigo glared.

"Orihime!" Isshin quickly made his escape towards where his daughter was now attempting to prize seaweed from her hair.

"Soi-Fon said she would be coming over later today, okay?"

Fear flickered momentarily through the gray eyes staring back at him, but then just as quickly, vanished.

"Okay, Kurosaki-san."

**…**

Orihime sat across from Soi-Fon on her futon, playing with the fraying hem of her cardigan.

"Orihime, I know this is going to be very difficult, but we need you to describe the people who did this to you. Do you think you can do that?"

Orihime shifted, and crossed her arms. The thought struck Soi-Fon that she gripped her elbows, as though she was scared she might fly apart.

"I… I didn't really see them… It was dark… And I… I didn't really _want_ to see them."

"I understand."

'No… you don't…' The thought crossed Orihime's mind suddenly, and she felt even more alone somehow.

"I know that, one of them was wearing a small pendant. It had a tiger's head on the end of it." Orihime could remember staring at the tiger, feeling slightly unnerved by the way it's face was frozen in a roar.

"One of the men, had a peculiar scar across his forehead. He had brown hair, and blue eyes… But a colourless kind of blue. The other I can remember very short blond hair and lots of piercings."

"Where were his piercings?"

"Well, tongue, nose, eyebrow, all the way up his ears too." Orihime had remembered the way they had glinted coldly down upon her.

"Alright, alright, I'll leave you alone for now." Soi-Fon hesitated, before reaching into her pocket, and withdrawing a leaflet.

Orihime took it. On the front in big, bold letters read, 'Survivors of Rape'. Orihime looked down at the leaflet, reading what it said. There was apparently a meeting at the village hall that was to take place in eight days. She felt something snap inside of her.

Until Soi-Fon offered her a tissue, Orihime hadn't realized she had been crying, and she suddenly felt like a baby.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Orihime said, in between sobs.

"I know, it's all just a bit too much, isn't it?" Soi-Fon asked kindly, proffering her more tissues.

"Yes… It' all too much…"

**…**

Rukia was counting all the things you could do in sixty seconds. In sixty second you could agree to go on a date with someone. In sixty seconds you could phone up your relatives to tell them you're doing well. In sixty seconds you could get up in the morning. In sixty seconds you scan through an article. In sixty seconds you could tell someone special how much you loved them. In sixty seconds your world could change. Rukia held her breath, and cracked open her eyelid.

There it was. That little red plus sign. She waved it around, as if hoping that it might change by doing so. She felt her stomach. In there, was something alive. Something growing. Rukia ran towards the sink, to wretch.

**…**

Ichigo was dreaming.

"I have extra mathematics class!" Orihime groaned, and slumped forward across her desk.

"_That's okay, we'll wait for you, if you like." Tatsuki smiled at her friend, and then offered her some chips in condolence. _

"_Thank you, Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime chirped before gobbling down the chips._

_And then the scene changed._

"_Ah, sorry, Orihime… You see… There's this program one television that Ichigo wants to watch, and I have way too much homework to hang around. Renji and Rukia would wait for you, but they're going on a date… Sorry, Orihime." _

_Orihime offered them all one of her supernova smiles, and she said, "Don't worry about it… But… The maths might kill me! And then I'll come back to haunt you all!" She mimed a ghost. _

"_Yes, yes, Orihime. Well, have fun!" And with that they were all off. _

_And then the dream changed. _

_Orihime was standing in front of Ichigo. She was robed in white, and Ichigo could see blood running down her legs, staining her dress a morbid crimson colour. Her eyes were too big for her face._

_"Why… Why… Why didn't you wait for me? Why did you leave? I _needed_ you… Why did you go? Why? Why? Why?" And she started to fade, but the place where she had stood was covered in blood, and when Ichigo raised his hands, he saw the crimson liquid on his palms, and he yelled. _

"_I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Come back to me, Orihime!" _

"_She's not coming back to _you_. Why should she? What makes you think, she'd be interested in someone as pathetic as you?" Another voice. Smirking, and unpleasant, a figure loomed ahead of him. His voice rang in his ears, making Ichigo crumple._

"_You're _nothing_. She would never be interested in you. After all… You left her… When she needed you most…"  
_

"_Who the fuck are you?" Ichigo sounded braver than he felt._

"_Me? Don't you know me? But I'm _you_… I'm a part of you… I was born, because of your guilt… We'll be seeing lots more of each other from now on… Ichigo…" _

_And Orihime's face was there again, screaming and sobbing, and Ichigo couldn't do anything, he reached out a hand…_

Ichigo opened his eyes. He started to find his hand outstretched in front of him, reaching for somebody who wasn't there. He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

A soft knock on the door resounded throughout his room.

"Come in."

Orihime opened the door, followed by Isshin and Yuzu.

"Kurosaki-kun, I've spoken to Soi-Fon just now, and I was asking her whether she would think it would be alright to return back to college… I mean… I would like to keep up with my mathematics class, and I would miss lots of my art coursework otherwise… Soi-Fon also said, she thought it was for the best. So that I have something to do, distraction that is."

"Oh, okay, if you're sure you feel up to it that is. Don't strain yourself too much okay?"

Orihime nodded, smiling slightly.

"Also, Yuzu and I are cooking dinner tonight, so I hope you don't mind."

Ichigo secretly did mind. Putting Orihime in the kitchen was like signing up for food poisoning in his opinion.

Outwardly, Ichigo nodded, trying his best to smile.

Orihime smiled back, and left the room, leaving only Isshin.

"Yes dad?"

"Take care of her, alright?" Isshin didn't have his usual happy-go-lucky expression. He looked quite serious.

"You know I will."

"Good."

**…**

Rukia looked at Renji, trying to read something into the stunned expression on his face.

"Earth to Renji."

Renji blinked, and then continued to stare in shocked silence at Rukia's flat stomach.

"Could you please just say something?" And she whacked him hard over the head.

"Stop that, moron, are you trying to crack my head open?"

"Don't call me a moron, asshole! It's your fault anyway!"

They continued to argue somewhat comically, until Tatsuki arrived, shaking off the snow from her coat, and looking exasperatedly on at the scene.

"Guys, guys, one would think you had already been married for fifty years or so."

This put an end to their bickering, and instead they focused their glares on Tatsuki, who shrank back.

"What's the problem then?" Tatsuki queried, taking a coke from the fridge and taking a sip.

"He got me pregnant!" Rukia yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Renji. Tatsuki blinked, staggering inwardly from the shock.

"He what?" Tatsuki exclaimed, glaring accusingly at Renji.

Renji backed away into the corner of the room, his face blanching.

"What are you going to do?" Tatsuki asked softly, her gaze softening.

Rukia's lip quivered.

**…**

Orihime was staring at her mirror. She looked critically at her body, the way it curved, the way it – to a man's eyes – enticed, the way her hair fell like a gash down her back, the way she held herself. Maybe, just maybe, it was _her_ fault she had been raped. Maybe it had been something about the way she walked towards them that night. Maybe it had been the way she said 'no', maybe she hadn't been clear enough. Maybe they really _had_ thought that she had wanted it. Maybe she really had asked for it. Orihime's eyes seemed to lose their shine at this point. She could feel the very core of what made her Orihime cracking, and she was surprise to see her reflection crying. She began to sob in earnest. This was _her _fault. Orihime had yet to learn, that blaming herself, was part of the healing process.

**…**

Ichigo stood up, with the intention of going downstairs to watch television. He paused however outside his sister's room. Muffled sobs emitted through the keyhole of the door. His insides twisted unpleasantly. She was hurting, and maybe it could have been prevented if he had been there.

_'You got that right, asshole.'_

Ichigo froze with his hand on the doorknob, and looked around for the source of the voice. He shook his head. Maybe he had imagined it.

He found Orihime sprawled in front of the mirror, clutching her body, as if scared every piece of her would fly apart.

"Inoue?" Orihime looked shocked to see Ichigo there, and immediately wiped her eyes, and forced herself to smile.

"K-Kurosaki-kun, I- I fell over!"

"Inoue…"

"How silly of me, right?"

"Inoue-!"

"I'm such a klutz you know, I-."

"INOUE!" Ichigo hadn't meant to yell, and immediately regretted it at the look of shock on her face.

"I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I just…" Ichigo sighed, and rubbed his forehead.

"I don't want you to feel the need to lie to me, if you feel like crap, okay?" He bent down and reached out to touch her face, so as to wipe away the tears.

**_Smack._**

Orihime's face portrayed nothing but shock at what she had done.

Ichigo clutched his face in stunned silence.

"I…"

But Ichigo knew. The way he had touched her, had brought back some kind of memory.

"I…" Ichigo could see only ghosts in Orihime's eyes, which used to be filled with such hope.

"I'm so sorry, Kurosaki-kun." She reached out a hand to his face, so as to feel the damage. She touched his face, but withdrew her hand as though scalded.

"I'm so…" Orihime couldn't speak, her voice choked with sobs.

"So… Sorry."

"I know."

Very tentatively, Ichigo placed a hand on her shoulder. He could feel her stiffen, and saw the way her hand twitched, but she regained her composure, and gave him a watery smile.

"Thank you, Kurosaki-kun."

"ICHIGO!"

During the few moments alone with Orihime, Ichigo had not noticed that the outside world went on. Until Rukia, Renji and Tatsuki burst into his sister's room, and seemed momentarily frozen at the scene that greeted their eyes.

Tatsuki was the first to recover, and immediately gave Ichigo a kick to the stomach, which sent him flying.

"DON'T TOUCH HER, ASSHOLE!" She turned her attention to Orihime, "What did he say to make you cry?"

"He-."

"I know, he's an asshole, right?"

"No, he-!"

"Anyway, Orihime, we've all got some news for you… Don't freak out though… Rukia, Renji tell them!"

Ichigo had recovered enough to look up expectantly at the pair of them standing in the doorway who both looked at each other expectantly. As though coming to a silent agreement, they laced their hands together, and looked at the small audience.

"I'm… I'm…"

"You're getting married?" Orihime piped in.

"No… Not yet." But Renji said the latter part so that only Rukia could hear, which made her blush slightly, but she coughed and regained her famous Kuchiki composure.

"I'm pregnant."

Orihime's mouth formed a comical 'O' shape.

A silence stretched on for what seemed like years, in Ichigo's opinion.

Then, "Miyuki."

Orihime's voice rang through the silent room.

Rukia and Renji stared at her.

"Miyuki… If it's a girl that is."

"Miyuki." Rukia smiled, and looked out at the snow drifting in patterns outside.

"I like it."

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**AN: 'Miyuki' means 'silence of the deep snow' which indicates a quiet, peaceful and serene character. I hope you enjoyed, again, feedback is appreciated!**


	4. This Is Where I Go, When I Go

**AN: I hope you all enjoy this chapter :) Again, thank you to all the anon reviewers! 3**

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Orihime Inoue had struggled to get up that morning, having to unwind the covers from around her petite frame, and had to walk to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face for the upcoming day; her first day back at her college. She had struggled to get a t-shirt on the right way around, had nearly pulled on her jeans when they were inside out, and had accidentally put her elbow in the butter. Once she had changed she had made her way towards the college, each footfall feeling like she was making her way towards the execution block.

"Orihime Inoue… _That's_ her?" Orihime turned to see a huddle of students gathered at the entrance staring at her in avid interest. She turned away again. She supposed she ought to have expected this.

She was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she bumped into a tall figure. She looked up and realized with horror that it was none other than Grimmjow. His eyes reminded Orihime of when you drained the ocean of colour; you would get that washed out blue.

"Someone who had _really_ been raped, wouldn't be here." His loud voice sliced her to her very core, and she stumbled back in a dazed way.

"You're just a stupid sl-!"

"Is there a problem here?" Ishida had come over unnoticed by the onlookers. Grimmjow seemed to size him up; It was no secret, that Ishida was bloody strong despite his build.

"No, no problem." Smirking coldly down at Orihime, he turned away to continue his conversation with his fellow cronies, one of whom, slapped on the back as if to say, 'nice one.'

"Thank you, Ishida-kun." Orihime could feel her voice shaking, and she attempted to control it by concentrating on something else, like her psychology class, her mathematics class, and her creative writing class.

"Don't mention it. Just tell me, if someone's giving you any problems."

**…**

Orihime peered into her desk; she was attempting to look for her essays. She reached a hand into the dark crevice of her desk feelings around; she pulled. A sea of snakes poured out of the narrow gap, spilling over the floor onto her feet. Orihime reached down to pick one up. Eight small foil squares, accordion-pleated at the perforations.

_Trojan_, Orihime read, _Twisted Pleasure Lubricated Latex Condoms._

**…**

Orihime ran to the bathroom, and wretched weakly into one of the basins. Two girls squealed in disgust, and left the bathroom, leaving Orihime alone. She preferred it that way.

She hadn't anticipated, that this would happen, that nobody in the world who wasn't her friend, wouldn't believe her.

"_Someone who had _really_ been raped, wouldn't be here."_

Orihime slowly lifted her head, and smoothing her hair, and tugging at her t-shirt, Orihime left the bathroom.

"That's her?"

"Yeah."

"Why's she here?"

"She probably wasn't raped at all."

"She's a liar."

"And a slut." Giggles.

Orihime ran to the end of the corridor, searching for a familiar orange head.

"What a stupid whore."

"Did you see how I put the condoms in her desk?"

"That was brilliant!"

"I know, right?"

Orihime continued to run, and collided with a tall figure. Picking herself up from the floor she looked up only to realize, with a great wave of relief that it was Chad.

"Sado-kun! Please, I have to get out of here! Could you tell Kurosaki-kun I'm going home?" Chad looked down at the big, frightened gray eyes, and then looked over her head at the crowd forming behind her.

"Stupid slut, throwing herself at any man in her path." Chad could hear the whispers now, and a concentrated anger began to boil in his blood.

"Of course I'll tell him. Just go home, okay?"

Her eyes conveyed gratitude that couldn't really be expressed in words, because no word was big enough.

"Thank you."

**…**

"Orihime went home, Ichigo."

Ichigo stopped looking around the cafeteria for a familiar redhead, and instead looked at Chad in disbelief.

"Why?"

"Well… In case you haven't noticed you great big retard, nobody believes her. They all think she's making it up, and keep chucking names at her, that would insult anyone enough to smack them, but Orihime, being Orihime, she doesn't fight for herself." Renji had joined the table, and not far off was Rukia helping herself to Sushi.

"Who's calling her names?" Ichigo asked, his fingers twitching as though itching to strangle whoever it was.

"Well… everyone…" Renji said unhelpfully.

"Right," said Ichigo, cracking his knuckles, but he stayed seated when he received a warning look from Chad.

Rukia joined them, slumping down in her seat, and absentmindedly rubbing her stomach. There was now, a very tiny bump there to be seen. Ichigo gazed at her plate, somewhat shocked at the amounts.

"How much are you planning on eating, Rukia?" Ichigo asked with mild interest.

Rukia glared at him in defensiveness. "I'm eating for _two_, asshole!"

"I don't think it really works like th-!" Chad was cut off with a death-glare from the small figure, sending him to gazing at his fingernails in apparent interest.

**…**

**Ichigo's POV**

Let me tell you what happens when you cook down the syrup of loss over the open fire of sorrow: It solidifies into something else. Not grief, like you'd expect, or even regret. No, it gets thick as paste, black as ash; and yet it isn't until you dip a finger in and feel the sharp taste dissolving on your tongue that you realize this is anger in its purest form, unrefined; a substance to be weighed and measure and spread.

This is what I feel all the time when I see Orihime. I feel regret about not being there for her, of course. But mostly, I feel so angry, that sometimes my hands start to shake, and I have to grip the edge of a table, or concentrate on holding my pen, so as to prevent it. Mostly, I feel ashamed. I feel awkward, and embarrassed, that I was the same gender of the fuckers who did this to her. I can't touch her anymore, without expecting some kind of retaliation, whether she backs away, runs from me, or worse feels the need to strike out. Orihime is definitely not a violent girl by nature. She had to be the most pacifistic person on this earth: When she sees a line of ants, instead of stepping on them, she takes great care to walk over them, and sometimes follow them along, just to see whether where they are living is safe from predators, or young children who find it funny to step on them.

I can remember once, when we were about ten, Orihime had been digging in the undergrowth for aliens, or so she said, and had come across a chickadee's egg that had fallen out of a nest. She had carried the egg out, only to realize that it had an enormous crack down the middle. When you put the egg on to the pavement, the bird had fallen out, still embryonic and developing, it was pink-skinned and pale, oddly humanistic. She, Tatsuki and Rukia had held a funeral for the bird, by lining a matchbox with tissues.

"Wilbur," Orihime had intoned – god alone knows why she chose a name like that -, "lived a short life, full of danger."

Not unlike her own, it was later to be revealed.

Orihime had cried a week over that damned bird – the first time that finding something, for Orihime anyway, became equated to loss.

"Orihime Inoue?"

"That's the one."

"She's gone home, why do you want to know?" It was one of Orihime's professors who was speaking, the one who had amused her by bringing in real red bean paste and chocolate cake – one of Orihime's recipes – and dividing it up into fractions during her extra mathematics class.

"Just wondering…"

"Don't give her any trouble you lot."

I turned just in time to see none other than Grimmjow Jagerjaques and his fellow muscular cronies grinning at her professor, in an unreassuringly sinister manner.

"Wouldn't _dream_ of it… Sir," the sneaky bastard added.

As they pass, Grimmjow shoves me hard with his shoulder, so that I stagger back slightly. I glare after him, and resist the urge to slam him into a wall.

**…**

**Orihime's POV**

My favorite museum as a child was the Karakura Aquarium, and my favorite exhibit was the tide pool where you practically got to play God. There were sea stars, which could spit out their own stomachs and grow back limbs that were damaged. There were anemones, which might spend all their lives in one place. There were hermit crabs and limpets and algae. And there was a red button for me to push, which created a wave in the tank and spin all the sea life like the clothes inside a washing machine, before letting them settle again.

I had loved being the agent of change, at the small touch of a finger. I would wait until the water had just settled, and then I would push the button again.

There was a second exhibit at the aquarium that I liked. A strobe, spitting over the flow of an oversized faucet. I knew it was just an optical illusion, but I used to think that in this one corner of the world, water might be able to run backward.

Sometimes I think that maybe there's one big guy constantly pushing a big red button to keep our lives in motion. But then I think, he's not very nice. What kind of person would elicit the change, which would do something like that to me? What kind of person would want to tear me into pieces?

**…**

I go into college again the next day, but today would be different. Today people would come up to me to say the horrible things, instead of just whispering.

"Nobody believes you. You're an attention seeking slut."

I can't help it. I let a tear slide down my cheek, and wonder why the first tear you cry, is always the hottest, and the most painful.

"Have you got a problem?" I look up to see Ichigo towering over me, and the man who said that horrible sentence, which seemed to numb me to my very core.

"No problem. Just telling her, what we think of her. It's free speech, don't you know?"

In that moment something seems to break in Ichigo's eyes, and I can feel something inside me break with it: My heart.

Before I really know what's happening they are on the floor wrestling with each other. I have never seen a fight up close before but this is horrendous. I watch Ichigo – who isn't Ichigo anymore, something is different about his eyes – punching every inch of the poor guy he can reach, and I watch the guy put his hands in front of his face in defense.

"Kurosaki-kun! _Stop_ it! _Stop it_!" I scream and I try to grab his elbow, a crowd has gathered I see with shock, but I find myself sprawling across the floor. I try to get up, my hands and knees are shaking, and I again try to stop this.

"Kurosaki-kun! _Please_ stop!"

**…**

**Ichigo's POV**

This is where I go, when I go, and he's there:

It's a room with no windows and no doors, and walls that are thin enough for me to see and hear everything but too thick for me to break through.

I'm here but no there.

I am pounding to be let out, but nobody can hear me.

This is where I go, when I go, and he's there:

To a country where everyone's face looks different from the ones I know, and the language is the act of not speaking, and noise is everywhere in the air we breathe. I am doing what the Romans did in Rome; I am trying to communicate, but no one has bothered to tell me that these people cannot hear.

This is where I go, when I go, and he's there:

To the place where my body becomes a piano, full of black keys only – the sharps and the flats, when everyone knows that to play a song, you need some white keys.

This is why I come back, and he leaves:

To find those white keys.

**…**

**Rukia's POV.**

I feel the bump underneath my t-shirt. It's growing pretty fast, and soon I will have to buy clothes for fat people. The thought makes me shudder.

I carry my books so it conceals my stomach from view, and walk down the corridor towards room number two hundred and thirty-three.

I can't get there though. I am blocked by a crowd, and with annoyance, I elbow my way through, much to the irritation of others. I think I get one guy in the groin. What can I say? Despite what Renji thinks, being small has its advantages.

"Kurosaki-kun! _Please_ stop!" ¨

"Inoue?" I utter the word out loud, and I see suddenly that someone is filming something with his or her phone. Immediately I elbow said person in the stomach, causing them to drop their phone, and I tuck it safely into my jeans. There is no way this will go on youtube.

I finally make my way to the front, where I see Ichigo wrestling with some poor sod on the ground, while Orihime tries to pull him off.

"Kurosaki Ichigo!" My voice comes out louder than I would expect it to.

"Would you kindly get off that young man, this instant?"

No response. This time I take matters into my own hands, and so handing someone my books, I roll up the sleeves of my cardigan, and give Ichigo a good blow to the head. There will be a bruise there later. Immediately, Ichigo's body slackens, like a puppet that has been cut from his strings.

Orihime I can see is crying, and I suddenly feel anger towards Ichigo. The last thing she needs is for her friends to start brawling like this.

Ichigo looks up at me, and I can see the way his expression of cold fury slips, like a coloured contact lens, so I could see what was actually underneath; fear.

"Get up the pair of you, honestly." I can see blood on Ichigo knuckles, and when I look over at Orihime again, I can see that her arms have been bruised, from the times that she had been thrown off the brawl by Ichigo. Her white t-shirt has blood on it.

I drag Ichigo down the hall and punch him for good measure.

"What the _hell_ did you think you were doing, beating the guy up like that?" I demand, furiously.

"He called Orihime a… A…"

"A slut?" I offer. I have heard what everyone around the college is calling her, and it makes me mad as well, don't get me wrong, but that doesn't me I start public brawls.

"Yeah…"

"She _told_ you to stop, what the hell were you thinking?"

Something about his expression is odd. I can't put my finger on it.

"I need to go to the bathroom, Rukia," and with that he frees himself of my grip, and runs towards the nearest bathroom. I am left to jog back to where Orihime has remained frozen, her gray eyes completely empty.

**…**

**Ichigo's POV**

I stare into the mirror where I can see his reflection. He is standing behind me, but when I look around the bathroom, there is nobody there; he only exists in the mirror. He looks like me, in negative, and I am terrified of him.

"_Nice going, Ichigo!" _

"Shut up." I must sound mad, talking to people who don't exist, but this guy feels all too real.

"_Admittedly though, I was the one who did the beating up, but you were the one who let my come out to say hello. If you don't want me here, you shouldn't let your emotions get the better of you."_

I lift up my fist, and I punch the mirror. The glass splinters, and the mirror falls from the walls. I can feel shards and fragments embedded in my knuckles.

"_Now only a mad man would do that, Ichigo."_

Even when I can't see him, he is always there, lurking in the wasteland of my mind.

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**AN: Again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) Feedback is appreciated :)**


	5. The Shouted Whisper

**AN: Sooo, here is the fifth chapter, and I do hope you enjoy it! Thanks again to all the anon reviewers! I have a mini announcement though, I won't be able to update for the next three months, BECAUSE I'm going away for that period of time, where I will NOT have access to internet. Which makes me pretty upset, BUT I will update WHENEVER the opportunity arrives, okay?**

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**Orihime's POV**

I'm useless when it comes to Ichigo. No matter how hard I try to understand him, to help him, Rukia and Tatsuki always beat me to it. They can make him snap out of his sadness. They can bring that smile back on his face. The one which tears me apart every time I see it. The pain of not being able to help him, cuts me in half like a magician's trick, except I know that I will never really be put back together.

This is what I am thinking when I see Ichigo sit down across the table from me. He eats his dinner without speaking, and Karin, Yuzu and I make up for the lack of conversation on the two men's behalf.

I glance over at Ichigo, and I catch sight of his knuckles. They are bruised, and dry blood coats the wounds that must have been there. Whatever happened to him, it wasn't there when I grabbed his arm to make him stop punching the other guy at school. I can feel fear grip me icily, and I try to push away that foreboding feeling which comes when something bad is about to happen.

**…**

**Ichigo's POV**

I can see Orihime staring at my hands, and I quickly remove them from the table, as though her stare is burning them. I glance outside the window at the black and purple snow clouds, which are building steadily on the line where the earth meets the sky. I think I'll take a walk after dinner. It often helps when I'm trying to calm down.

**…**

**Ishida's POV**

The first time I met Orihime Inoue, the sun was threaded through her hair, making it look as though she had some sort of halo around her head. When she smiled, my chest felt several sizes too small, and when she laughed I wished I'd been the one to make her laugh like that. She told me about the aliens in a manga she was reading, and about how she thought they must be real, because really, nobody could have thought of all that by themselves.

Then I saw the way she looked at Kurosaki Ichigo. I have to admit I hated him. I hated him because he didn't even notice her, while I noticed her all the time. I hated him because he was rude, annoying, up his own ass, and had stupid, bright orange hair all at once. I wondered what it was about him that made someone like her love him. In the end I figured, opposites really do attract. When you put them together one made up for everything the other didn't have, for example Orihime made up for his lack of compassion and understanding of emotions, and for his lack of smiling and laughing, and probably imagination too. He made up for her lack of rudeness, but he also makes up for her not defending herself. He would probably move heaven and earth to protect her. Which is why, right now, he hates himself.

**…**

**Orihime's POV**

I know I shouldn't be following people like this. It's weird, and what stalkers do, but I can't help but worry about Ichigo – where he's going that is.

So when he marches out into the blizzard I follow him, attempting to hide behind telephone boxes, streets corners and dustbins, where I startled a cat so badly, it hid in the bin and came out covered in potato peelings. I had to fight not to laugh.

I can see Ichigo standing on the bridge now, looking down at the iced over lake. I don't what makes me do it, but I am suddenly tired of hiding from him, and everyone else, so I step out from behind a pillar, and I walk towards him, the icy wind biting my face.

"Kurosaki-kun?" I don't know what else to say, and even his name comes out weakly, and somewhat stupidly.

"Inoue, why were you following me?" I blush, but I doubt he can see it with the snow billowing around us like ghosts.

"I uhh… Well to tell you the truth I want to join the British MI5 when I grow up, I figured this would be good practice so I-!"

"Inoue, I told you," and when those amber eyes meet mine I can feel the weakness of my story bearing down on my, "don't lie to me, okay?"

"Okay." But it comes out as a whisper, so I have to repeat myself, "Okay, the truth is, I wanted to see where you were going. You might have done something reckless. I was scared for you."

He laughs, and it takes ms by surprise, so I jump slightly.

"Inoue… You should really, _really_, try to think of yourself more often you know?" But he smiles when he says it, and just like that, despite the cold, which I'm sure has frozen all the muscles in my face, I smile back, and it's a real smile. A real smile, since the night I had been raped, and when I think of that, it makes me smile even more.

**…**

**Ichigo's POV**

Despite what Ishida, Tatsuki, Renji, Rukia and Chad think I am not as dense as I seem to be. I can catch on to some things, it's just with others I have difficulty. But I do know that Orihime followed me, I think I even heard her giggle at one point, and this makes me smile, because she hasn't laughed properly for awhile now.

"Inoue… You should really, _really_, try to think of yourself more often you know?" I smile at her when I say it, and just like that, like watching a new star being born, Orihime's face lights up with some kind of invisible light, which is impossible as light can't be invisible, but if you had seen it, you would know. It's a supernova smile, and so incredibly lovely, that it leaves me feeling winded, and lightheaded.

"I'll try to, Kurosaki-kun," she says and her eyes aren't filled with the ghosts I am accustomed to seeing anymore, they are shining with that familiar light that she lost, and my heart seems to flutter, which is weird because we all know, hearts don't flutter, but that's what it felt like for me.

I look over at the frozen over river, and I can see a few figures skating along it. Orihime looks over too, and suddenly the smile is gone, to be replaced with a look I don't even want to begin describing. It is fear, pure and undiluted, and she looks like she's going to scream, or faint, or vomit, one of the three, and I try to call out to her, "Inoue? Inoue? INOUE?" but she doesn't even blink, not even when I shake her.

"Inoue?" I don't know what else to do, so I hit her. I know you're not meant to hit girls, I do, I've not been badly brought up, but what else should I have done? What choice did I have?

She blinks then, and she opens her mouth, but no sound comes out.

"Talk to me Inoue, please, what' the matter?"

"They… They're… That's…" I can't get a word of sense out of the girl.

'Ichigo, I think I know who they are, god you're dense aren't you?'

Crap. He's back. I try with all my might to shove him away, I do, but it's fucking hard. It's like trying to resist gravity.

Orihime's voice pushes him back eventally.

"They… They raped me… That's them… That's… Oh my…" And suddenly she is a mute again, unable to say anything anymore, but I don't pay attention to that, instead I see red.

**…**

**Ichigo's POV**

This is where I go when I go, and he's there.

It's a room with no windows and no doors, and walls that are thin enough for me to see and hear everything but too thick for me to break through.

I'm here but no there.

I am pounding to be let out, but nobody can hear me.

This is where I go, when I go, and he's there:

To a country where everyone's face looks different from the ones I know, and the language is the act of not speaking, and noise is everywhere in the air we breathe. I am doing what the Romans did in Rome; I am trying to communicate, but no one has bothered to tell me that these people cannot hear.

This is where I go, when I go, and he's there:

To the place where my body becomes a piano, full of black keys only – the sharps and the flats, when everyone knows that to play a song, you need some white keys.

This is why I come back, and he leaves:

To find those white keys.

But you already know that, so now, I you know, I can't control anything which is about to happen.

**…**

**Orihime's POV**

I've often wondered what it would feel like to have everything pulled out from underneath you. I wondered if you had the ground from beneath your feet pulled out from underneath you, if you'd start to fly. Or maybe you'd sprout wings. But actually, the truth is, is that you spin into an awful freefall. And there's no gravity to bring you back down to earth. You just keep falling and falling and falling. This is what I feel like when I see Ichigo run down towards the riverbank. This is what I feel like when I see him tackle one of them to the ice, and lift a fist. This is what I feel like when I can make out blood staining the snow. This what I feel like when I see the others get a firm grip on Ichigo, and then they start punching every bit of him they can reach. This is what I feel like when I open my mouth, and nothing comes out except a long shrill scream.

**…**

**Hollow Ichigo's POV**

_I'm trying to keep Ichigo down below, where he can't interfere with this fight. He keeps yelling to be let out, and in my opinion it's fucking annoying. Can't the brat ever keep his fucking mouth shut? I tell him to let me handle these mother fuckers but it only makes him yell louder to be let out. In the end I do, and the minute I do, Ichigo and I are both flat on the ground having the living daylights beaten out of us. This, in my opinion, sucks._

**…**

**Ichigo's POV**

I have it under control. This is what I tell myself, even when I can feel punches being thrown at me left, right and center. I can control this. But I think we both know I'm kidding myself. I'm suddenly aware of a shrill shriek from on top of the bridge.

I tried to yell out to her, I really did.

"I… Inoue…" I am winded, and the punches just keep coming, which leaves me gasping for breath. I know that tomorrow, I will be black and blue and different shades of violet. And then I wonder, what if these bastards beat me to death? What then?

The thought has barely crossed my mind, when I see Orihime's figure running towards us. I don't want her to see me like this. Maybe that isn't fair, I mean I've seen her at her very lowest, maybe when she sees me like this; we'll be on equal ground?

"Stop it! Stop it!" She's crying. Why do I always make her cry? I always hurt her, when what I'm really trying to do is protect her. I hate myself for this.

"That's the girl from a couple weeks ago isn't it?" one of them asks, and I can feel my blood boil and curdle with rage.

"She's come back for round two, hasn't she?" The guy who has been punching me in the gut, suddenly stops, and makes his way towards her frozen figure.

"Did you enjoy it that much lovely?"

**…**

**Hollow Ichigo's POV**

_By this time of course, Ichigo has gotten us beaten to a pulp. I want to stay in the recesses of his mind, but I owe the girl something. I mean, she's the reason he was feeling so guilty, which gave me and easy way of being created in his mind. I kind of owe her my existence._

_So when I take control this time, I _really_ take control._

**…**

**Orihime's POV**

They are circling me like a wolf might circle a fellow wolf who's challenging him. I am helpless, and I remain completely frozen, unable to scream, or to move. When one of them touches my shoulder, I react though. I smack his hand away, and immediately I am shocked by what I have done.

"You stupid whore!" And then they lunge at me, and I scream. But nothing happens. I can see Ichigo standing in the way, and I wonder how he even has the strength to stand on his two feet.

I close my eyes because I do not want to watch. I cover my ears with my hands too, and I wait in this world of darkness and silence for Ichigo or someone else to indicate to me that it's over. Or better yet, that I wake up from this nightmare. I've been hoping I will. I keep thinking I'll wake up at any moment, and suddenly I will be in my bed, and I will tell the others about this crazy dream I had, where my world got torn to shreds.

I never do though.

**…**

**Ichigo's POV**

I come back. He's letting me out of that stupid room. And I can feel the iciness of the wind, and the blood on my knuckles.

Inoue had collapsed and has her eyes squeezed shut and her hands clasped over her ears.

"I-Inoue?" No reaction. I gently touch her shoulder, and her eyes snap open, and I can see fear where my reflection should be.

"Kuro… Kuro… Kurosaki-kun?" She seems to be swallowing tears.

"It's over." And it is, because… _He_ has knocked them all unconscious.

"We should take them to the police station Inoue."

**…**

**Orihime's POV**

"We should take them to the police station Inoue."

I nod. And I keep nodding, as though by doing this, it will make it better, when really I am still in freefall, and I don't know whether anyone will catch me, more importantly, if I'll ever feel earth under my feet again.

* * *

**AN: Again, feedback is appreciated greatly :)**


	6. It Starts

**AN: A BIIIIIIG THANK YOU TO .Milsom (I'll get back to your mail tomorrow, if you're reading xD), WITHOUT WHOM THIS CHAPTER WOULD NOT BE HERE Thank you also to ALL the reviewers I was unable to reply to! You make my day :) Just a BIIIIG THANK YOU :D Any feedback is appreciated.**

**…**

Soi Fon stared at the scene before her. She had received a call at about ten twenty-three PM, but she had definitely not expected to see the scene before her.

Kurosaki Ichigo was being attended to by medics, the cuts and abrasions on his knuckles indicating that he had been in, what appeared to be quite a horrific fight. Opposite him sat Orihime Inoue who had a blanket wrapped around her thin shoulders and a hot drink for shock in one hand. Her eyes were staring at the red splatters on the snow.

Three – now conscious – convicted rapists were gesticulating wildly to a police officer, who was taking down notes and asking the occasional question. It seemed they were intoning their innocence in anything to do with Orihime.

What a bloody mess. Quite literally.

**…**

**Orihime**

The blood on the snow looks scary. Like something out of a horror movie. Not that I've ever watched on, I'm always too scared. But I suppose that's what it would look like. But actually what it most reminds me of is a geisha's face. White as snow and then lips as red as blood.

Kurosaki-kun won't look at me.

**…**

**Ichigo**

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

**…**

**Rukia**

Well, I can't say I'm surprised when I hear Ichigo has been carted off to prison for attacking convicted rapists. Now I'm not saying I wouldn't have done the same thing, but I would have done the job properly.

Inoue can't even look at anyone.

**…**

"Please, have something to drink Orihime. Please…" Tatsuki was begging quietly with Orihime who showed no signs of responding. Her eyes weren't reflecting much.

"Or eat? You look really dreadful."

Still Orihime said nothing.

Tatsuki sighed.

"It's my fault." It was such a small, weak whisper Tatsuki wasn't sure she had even heard it at first.

"What?"

"It's all my fault, Tatsuki-chan." Orihime's eyes were now brimming with tears threaded with regret.

"No it isn't. It really isn't."

"I… I'm always such a burden to Kurosaki-kun. He always…" Orihime sniffed rubbing her face in frustration, "He always protects me and I can never… never… ever do anything in return." She hiccupped, somewhat childishly.

"He doesn't need to protect me all the time. It just…" She sniffed and began to play with the ends of her hair as a distraction, "hurts."

"In-ou-e…" Rukia's now very round pregnant shadow loomed over the girl somewhat ominously.

Rukia lifted her fist in the air and hit Orihime over her head, only to recoil and rub her fist in pain, obviously having underestimated Orihime's skull.

"Ku-Kuchiki-san? What did you tap me for?" Orihime's watery eyes looked up at her imploringly.

That was good, Tatsuki thought absently. Orihime had stopped being in zombie-mode.

"Ah, you imbecilic moron! Ichigo doesn't protect you because he feels it's his duty to do so, he doesn't protect you because he thinks he has to!" Rukia was now glowering at the girl, while at the same time, still nursing her still-sore hand.

"H-huh?"

Rukia's eyebrow twitched.

"You should be blonde." Rukia rubbed her stomach absently, feeling for a kick.

"He protects you because he wants to."

**…**

**Ichigo**

Cells are scary really aren't they? It reminds me so much of the place where I go when I go. It terrifies me. The light is too white. The walls are too grey. The ceiling too low. The walls seem to edge close together. Squashing you. It's too cold in here. Much too cold.

"Kurosaki-kun."

Orihime's voice keeps echoing in my head. It's scary because her voice… It's not meant to be echoic. It's not meant to sound that empty, that hollow. It's meant to be so full of colours and life. And warmth. Not cold and dark and sad.

_You're such an ass Ichigo. _

"Shut up." I don't realize I have spoken aloud until I hear that weird echoing noise around the cell.

_You've completely cracked up now haven't you? Talking to me out loud is completely nuts. _

"Just be quiet will you?"

_Don't think I will actually. Hmm, you should actually be grateful to me. I mean, they woulda painted the snow a different colour… With you as the paint that is._

"Just, be quiet. Don't you have anything better to do?" This sounds nuts I know. God, what would Rukia or Inoue say if they saw me now? I'd rather not know.

_Wow. That is crazy. Still good thing I did come out don't you think? Not only would you be dead as a dodo, but they would probably have gotten Orihime-chan again. That would suck for you wouln't-?_

"Fuck. Off." I snap eventually.

_Oooh, I think I touched a nerve. _

"Just go." I bite out. This is childish as it's pretty fucking obvious by now he's not leaving me for a while.

_Don't be so petty Ichigo. Still I have been wondering you know… I mean… What makes that redhead so special? Aside from the obvious I mean, and I think you do, I know exactly what you-_

"Shut the fuck up!" I get up and I wonder over to the bed… Could you call it a bed? It's more like a bench. A very narrow bench. With a flimsy blanket and a very flat pillow. I wonder how many other people have slept here. I wonder how many of them have been guilty… If any of them have been rapists… If any of them felt any regret. If any of them even considered stopping when their victim cried out to stop. I wonder how they sleep at night.

_Jesus, talk about being melodramatic Ichigo. You gotta lighten up. _

"Would you give it a fucking rest?"

_Sheesh. _

Thank god. He stops. He stops. His voice has stopped. Oh thank god. For the first time that day I allow myself to sink to the floor and hold my head in my hands.

I look at my knuckles. Dried blood lingers on them and I scrape it off, scratching myself in the process.

"Shit." Dark red – almost crimson poppy like spots of blood start to bloom on my knuckles. It reminds me of Inoue when I saw her that night, crimson streaks marring her legs. My stomach flips.

I vomit suddenly.

_That's revolting._

I close my eyes when I hear him again, I can't stand this anymore.

_That woman must be something special I guess. Actually though, if I were you I would resent her. I mean to say because of her there's a me. You know what I mean Ichigo? _

"Don't fucking mention her like that."

_Ooooh. Touchy. Still… The way she looks… Well… It was bound to happen someday don't you agree. _

**…**

And then I am gone and I find myself hitting out at places I think I see him. He disappears whenever I lunge, and my knuckles are bruised and grazed from the harsh stone walls I come into contact with. And then the door is opening and everything is a calm, deep black.

**…**

"Is Kurosaki-kun okay?" Orihime asks again and again. The horses who rush about with clipboards do not respond, do not have time, they must get the doctors, must find the painkillers or the IVs.

And still she asks, "Is he okay? Is he hurt? Will he be okay? What's happened? Why's it beeping? Can I see him?"

Endless, endless questions come tumbling from her lips but nobody has the time of say for a small girl who needs help.

Orihime instead watched through the glass window as a somber looking doctor checks Ichigo's heart rate, and examines the wounds and crack knuckles. There is a bandage around his head from where the guard was forced to knock him unconscious. On the white bandage there blooms a very dark red flower.

So Orihime watches through the glass window. Hoping for him to wake up.

**…**

**Three days later**

"Neh, Kurosaki-kun do you think you'll wake up sometime soon?"

Ichigo's sleeping face does not show emotion.

"I think you will." Orihime chirps. And she puts some carefully selected crocuses into a small vase.

"The snow is melting…" She gazes out of the window. Outside the word is being born again.

**…**

**Seven hours later.**

"Ichigo?" Renji rubs his eyes. It's not that he doesn't enjoy visiting his friend… It's just that… Well. As Renji would tell you it's bloody hard to stay awake when all someone does it sleep. But Rukia would skin him alive f he didn't visit.

Amber eyes stare at the ceiling. Then they move and find Renji.

"Damn… I ended up in hell after all…"

Renji's eyesbrow twitches.

"SHUT UP ASSHOLE!"

**…**

And that is how Orihime found out that Ichigo was awake.

**…**

"Neh, Kurosaki-kun… You know what you reminded me of when you were sleeping?"

Ichigo stared at Orihime slightly non-plussed. There was a peculiar evil gleam to her eye that had not been there since before… then.

"Do I want to know?"

"You can decide after I've told you!"

"That's so not-"

"You reminded me of sleeping beauty, Kurosaki-kun!"

Rukia and Tatsuki who had until then been biting their cheeks to keep themselves from sniggering suddenly guffawed. Tatsuki clutched her side while Rukia hung onto the other girl for support, her already big belly now heaving.

"What the hell? SHUT UP RUKIA!"

"Neh, did I say something wrong?" Orihime suddenly looked very childishly innocent.

"Sl-Sleep…" Tatsuki was now heaving for breath, "Beaut… HIM?"

"I…" Rukia huffed somewhat as she tried to regain her composure, "…always knew there," she wiped the corner of her eye, "was something… weird about your eyelashes Ichigo…"

"What the hell midget? Say that again when I'm not in hospital!"

"Uhmm…" Everyone turned to look at Orihime.

"I think Kurosaki-kun has nice eyelashes."

**…**

Rukia and Tatsuki once more were sent into a fit of hysterics.

**…**

**One month later**

_Ichigo. You're fucked up._

**…**

_Ichigo… Look at that guy… He's looking at Orihime… We should get him… GET HIM BEFORE HE DOES WHAT THEY DID!_

**…**

"Kurosaki Ichigo I presume?"

Ichigo nodded stiffly.

"You have so far been charged with two physical cases of assault."

"Yeah."

The calm white-haired man in front of him joined his long fingers together in an arc.

"Well… Quite an achievement I suppose." The man smiled.

"Not really, Ukitake-san."

"Well… I suppose not then. Would you care to explain to me why?"

**…**

**Ichigo POV**

_This is where I go when I go, and he's there. _

_It's a room with no windows and no doors, and walls that are thin enough for me to see and hear everything but too thick for me to break through. _

_I'm here but no there._

_I am pounding to be let out, but nobody can hear me._

_This is where I go, when I go, and he's there:_

_To a country where everyone's face looks different from the ones I know, and the language is the act of not speaking, and noise is everywhere in the air we breathe. I am doing what the Romans did in Rome; I am trying to communicate, but no one has bothered to tell me that these people cannot hear._

**…**

"They shouldn't fucking look at her…"

**…**

Ukitake examines Ichigo's facial expression closely. It changed so dramatically, so quickly that Ukitake thought he must have blinked.

"Look at who?"

And when Ichigo looks up, those amber eyes are so dark, so black. Ukitake scribbles something on his notepad.

**…**

"Inoue… They shouldn't fucking look at her… Shouldn't fucking touch her…"

"Ah. Is that why you hear voices then, Kurosaki-san?"

**…**

_This is where I go, when I go, and he's there:_

_To the place where my body becomes a piano, full of black keys only – the sharps and the flats, when everyone knows that to play a song, you need some white keys._

_This is why I come back, and he leaves: _

_To find those white keys._

**…**

Ichigo blinks. He is back in this white office, this white room. In this comfy leather chair.

"Sorry."

Ukitake smiles, and Ichigo is shocked. How could anyone smile at him, knowing what kind of freak… What kind of monster he is?

"Not a problem."

**…**

"KU-RO-SA-KI-KUN!" Orihime is calling to him, smiling and laughing.

"Let's walk home together okay?" She smiles, again and the sun seems to give her a halo.

"Sure."

**…**

**Six days later**

Orihime can feel her body go into lock-down.

She stares at the white sheet in her hand with the simple kanji on it. She wishes she couldn't read.

**…**

_Miss Orihime Inoue. _

_As you have decided to press charges on the accused* (see below for details) we will indeed be taking your case to a legal court. The hearing will be held on the eighteenth of April. You are the prosecutor's and the defense's first witness. _

_Sincerely._

**…**

If we don't change the direction we are headed we will end up where we are going.

-Chinese Proverb.

**…**

**Again, thank you for reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated!**


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